Ode To Facebook by Benji Rutledge

Ode To Facebook by Benji Rutledge
by Benji R Rutledge on Monday, April 18, 2011 at 3:25pm
I was bored. Here you go. lol. enjoy!

Ode To Facebook
by Benji Rutledge
Monday, April 18th, 2011
(pretend this is being read to you)


Dear Facebook, oh, Facebook...Why must I check you while on the john?

Dear Facebook, oh, Facebook...Why can't I resist turning you on?

My iPhone it seems is in cahoots with this so called social network!

Dear Facebook, oh, my Facebook....you're cross-double crossing me I know it!

The paranoia sets in. They're tracking my every move, I'm sure of this.

I am so sure, it's unbelieveable! I can hardly fathom the unbelievability of my sureness!

I'm so scared now I'm shaking! WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY Mark Zuckerberg? Why? Stop.

*a brief pause while the author collects himself*


Dear Facebook, ohhhh, Facebook...I know that Jorge didn't mean to not like your NOTE!

Jorge would Never do that! The jealousy is unending! It's amazing how jealous I am at this!

Dear Facebook, ohhhh, Facebook...Kimball would NEVER not "Like" your link on purpose!

How COULD KIMBALL NOT "LIKE" YOUR LINK! HOW! OH WHY?

Nooooooooooooooooooo! Help Me MYSPACE!

Help me free myself from this EVIL Facebooking!

Help me out oh Friendster! My long lost friendster who nobody ever uses ever!

OR Any other random social network, HELP!!!! I need help getting loose from this!

Dear Facebook, oh, Facebook...

*someone slaps Benji and turns off the computer*


THE END!
(please, hold your applause.....)